


That Potter Slash

by Minerva McTabby (McTabby)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Dr. Seuss parody, Humor, M/M, Parody, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-30
Updated: 2010-09-30
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:01:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McTabby/pseuds/Minerva%20McTabby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parody of <i>Green Eggs and Ham</i> by Dr. Seuss. "I do not like that Potter slash..." Written in 2001.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Potter Slash


    Trash-I-am!  
    Call-me-Trash!
    
    That Call-me-Trash!  
        That Call-me-Trash!  
        I do not like  
        that Call-me-Trash!
    
    Would you like  
    some Potter slash?
    
    I do not like it,  
        Call-me-Trash.  
        I do not read  
        that Potter slash.
    
    Would you like some  
    Draco/Ron?
    
    I would not like some  
        Draco/Ron.  
        Tell them to put their  
        clothes back on.  
        I do not like  
        that Potter slash.  
        I do not like it,  
        Call-me-Trash.
    
    Would you like some  
    Lupin/Black?  
    Naked Remus  
    on his back?
    
    I would not like some  
        Lupin/Black.  
        I think I'd have  
        a heart attack.  
        I would not like some  
        Draco/Ron.  
        Tell them to put their  
        clothes back on.  
        I do not like that Potter slash.  
        I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.
    
    Would you read  
    a Seamus scene?  
    Can you see him   
    blowing Dean?
    
    No Seamus/Dean.  
        That's quite obscene.  
        No Lupin/Black.  
        No heart attack.  
        I would not read that Draco/Ron.  
        Tell them to put their clothes back on.  
        I would not read that Potter slash.  
        I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.
    
    Would you? Could you?  
    Harry/Snape?  
    Read it! Read it!  
    No escape!
    
    I would not,  
        Could not,  
        Harry/Snape.
    
    You may like it.  
    It's so good.  
    You may like this  
    Percy/Wood.
    
    I would not, could not Percy/Wood.  
        Nor Harry/Snape! Don't think they should.  
        I do not like that Seamus/Dean.  
        I do not like it, sight unseen.  
        I do not like that Lupin/Black.  
        No naked Remus on his back.  
        I do not like that Draco/Ron.  
        Tell them to put their clothes back on.  
        I do not like that Potter slash.  
        I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.
    
    Try James! Try James!  
    Try James! Try James!  
    Could you, would you,  
    Lucius/James?
    
    No Lucius/James! No Percy/Wood!  
        No Harry/Snape! Trash! Understood?  
        I would not, could not, Seamus/Dean.  
        I would not, could not, it's obscene.  
        I will not read that Lupin/Black.  
        I think I'd have a heart attack.  
        I will not read that Draco/Ron.  
        Tell them to put their clothes back on.  
        I do not read that Potter slash.  
        I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.
    
    Say!  
    George on Fred?  
    Or Fred on George?  
    Would you, could you, Fred and George?
    
    I would not, could not,  
        Fred and George.
    
    Would you read some  
    twincest games?
    
    I would not read those twincest games.  
        Not George and Fred. Not Lucius/James.  
        Not Harry/Snape. Not Percy/Wood.  
        I do not like them, Trash. No good.  
        Not Lupin/Black. No Seamus scene.  
        No heart attack. No blowing Dean.  
        I will not read that Draco/Ron.  
        They can all go put their clothes back on!
    
    You do not like that Potter slash?
    
    I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.
    
    Snape and Lupin  
    in the Tower?
    
    I would not want them   
        in the Tower!
    
    Or Harry/Draco  
    in the shower?
    
    I could not watch them in the shower.  
        Or Snape and Lupin in the Tower.  
        I will not read any twincest games.  
        I will not read that Lucius/James.  
        No Fred and George! No Percy/Wood!  
        No Harry/Snape! That understood?  
        I do not like that Seamus scene.  
        I do not like him blowing Dean.  
        I will not read that Lupin/Black.  
        No naked Remus on his back.  
        I do not like that Draco/Ron.  
        It simply DOESN'T TURN ME ON!
    
    [*insert total collapse here*]
    
    I do not like that Potter slash!  
        I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.
    
    You do not like it.  
    So you squick.  
    Try it! Try it!  
    It's not sick.  
    Try it - and it just might click.
    
    Trash!  
        If you will go away,  
        I will try it.  
        Make my day.
    
    [*insert very, very nervous look here*]
    
    [* R E A D I N G *]
    
    Trash!  
        I like this Potter slash!  
        I do! I like it, Call-me-Trash!
    
    Get Harry/Draco in the shower.  
        And Snape with Lupin in the Tower...  
        And I will read some twincest games  
        with Fred and George. Then Lucius/James.  
        And Harry/Snape. And Percy/Wood.  
        These fics are really, really good!  
        So I will read that Seamus scene.  
        I want to see him blowing Dean.  
        And I will read that Lupin/Black  
        with naked Remus on his back.  
        And I will read some Draco/Ron.  
        All these pairings TURN ME ON!
    
    I do so like  
        this Potter slash!  
        Thank you!  
        Thank you,  
        Call-me-Trash!
    
     
    
    *** THE END ***  
    

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I'm up to no disrespect for the work of J.K. Rowling or Dr. Seuss. And I'm not making a Knut off this.
> 
>  
> 
> Written on a whim, in one afternoon, during the festive season of December 2001 - when I'd only been in the HP fandom for a couple of months, but had already read so many excellent fics that this parody ended up with a general dedication: happy holidays to all of the fandom's talented slash writers.
> 
> First posted at the [hpslash Yahoogroup](http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hpslash/message/9343) on December 19, 2001.   
> It's been up [at FF.net](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/529190/1/That_Potter_Slash) since January 2002, and always gets far more reviews than the rest of my stuff put together. I'm just really happy to know that so many people have enjoyed this thing over the years. Thank you, _That Potter Slash_ readers. :D


End file.
